If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize