The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
