if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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