Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
