I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize