Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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