After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Randomize
