its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
