Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize