dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize