Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
