No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
