And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
