i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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