There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
