Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize