Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
