"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
