It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she smelled like a LAN party
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
