it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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