Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
