I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
