I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
