I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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