i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
