that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
