I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
