im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
