Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
the condom got lost in my hair
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize