I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize