Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize