ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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