I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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