Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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