I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
