We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
