I need help removing her.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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