that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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