im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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