I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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