Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
