I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
