if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
