Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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