i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
