Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
