You can't motorboat a personality
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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