plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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