i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
