Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
