He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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