Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
