walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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