I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
