I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize