I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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