I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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