dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
