I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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