and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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