i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
