I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize