i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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