If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
