I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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