no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
