if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
