new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
