I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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