So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
