someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
