I hate all girls vehemently.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize